Purgatory

David Purgatory, the doctrine of the cash register, I. What is purgatory? the official Catholic doctrine. Definition, a temporary state after death for those who died in God's grace but still have venial sins or temporal punishment for forgiven sins purification by fire suffer and eventually get to heaven after purging complete not hell.

Only the Enochian insults. I want you to really zing them. No curse words. But all I'm after, rather than you explaining everything to us, at least in these sessions, is I you want to mock the living hell out of them Get after them, two bits.

no cursewords. Only truth, however. David Enoch's mockery of purgatory and the cash register Enoch's rebuke to the Purgatory scam the cosmic joke ENOCH who was taken to heaven without dying who saw the throne room who walked with God for 300 years never mentioned PURGATORY funny that you'd think if there's a cosmic waiting room of fire torture between death and heaven god might have mentioned it to The guy he literally walked for three centuries but no enoch so lord what happens when people die god complete silence about purgatory vatican 2000 years later surprise there's a fire prison but don't worry we can get you out for a price the coin in the coffer as soon as the point in a coffa rings the soul from purcatory springs congratulations you turn salvation into a vending machine insert coin receive salvation ding what's next swipe your credit card for grace use promo code vatican for 10% off your purgatory sentence subscribe to salvation plus for unlimited indulgences enox who never charged a single shekel for teaching truth, watches you sell tickets out of your imaginary fire prison and laughs. the merit treasury you claim to have a bank of extra holiness.

Let me understand this. Mary was so holy she had leftover merit like spiritual frequent flyer miles. The Pope is the bank teller who can transfer her miles to my dead uncle. I just need to make a donation definitely not buying.

That would be so many. This is a Ponzi scheme with fancy hats. Bernie Madoff got 150 years for less creative fraud than this. But you've been running it for 1,000 years and call it tradition.

Brilliant. the numbers game. Disindulgence grants 40 days off purgatory. Question.

40 Days off what? Did someone time it? Did you send an intern to purgatory with a stopwatch? Okay, Bob's been in the fire for Carrie, the two yep, 847 years, three months, 11 days.

Buy this indulgence and we'll knock off a week. You're making up numbers for a place you invented. It's like selling timeshares on the moon. Except at least the Moon exists.

the emotional extortion. Your grandmother is burning right now. Suffering. Screaming.

You could help her but you won't even donate. This is the theology of a protection racket. Nice soul you got there. Shame if something happened to it.

For a small fee, we'll make sure purgatory doesn't take too long. Mafia bosses would admire your business model, but at least the mob is honest about being criminals. You dress it up investments and call it holy. the biblical amnesia.

Jesus to the thief on the cross. Today you will be with me in paradise. Not today you'll start your 500 year sentence in the fire prison, then paradise, hope someone buys you out. Paul, to depart and be with Christ is far better.

Not to part and suffer in purgatory for an indeterminate period is well. At least you'll get to heaven eventually. Maybe if your relatives can afford it. Hebrews, man dies once, then judgment.

NOT man die once then purcatory then judgement unless he bought a plenary indulgence. It's almost like you didn't read the book. the reincarnation dodge. Reincarnation.

Soul learns through multiple lifetimes, grows, evolves. Free, makes cosmic sense. Your version, soul burns in fire, does nothing, waits passively. Others can pay to shorten sentence.

makes no sense except as revenue stream gee i wonder why you chose the version that requires your mediation it's almost like you picked the theology that maximizes your control and profit but that would be cynical the medieval price list historical fact different sins had different prices for indulgences Murder, that'll be 50 Jukats. Adultery, 30 Jucats Stealing, 20 Juchats You literally had a menu, like a spiritual drive-thru. Welcome to Percatory Exit Services. Can I take your order?

Yeah, I'll have two murders forgiven, one adultery, and can I supersize the indulgence? That'll be 130 jukettes. Pull around to the confession window. And you wonder why Luther lost his mind.

the Council of Trent cleanup. After the Reformation exposed you, you had a meeting. Council Of Trent 1563. Okay, guys, we need to ban the sale of indulgences.

It's bad PR, but can we keep the doctrine? Oh, absolutely. We just can't charge any more. Will call it spiritual works instead of purchases.

Brilliant. Same scam, better branding. This is like a drug cartel saying we don't sell cocaine anymore. We just require donations and give away cocaine.

Totally different. The DEA would not be impressed. Neither is Enoch. the modern version.

We don't sell indulgences anymore. Oh, really? Jubilee year indulgence must travel to Rome costs money, must attend certain events donations expected, Must visit certain churches offering plates conspicuously placed. But you're not selling.

Just requiring expensive activities that coincidentally generate revenue while granting indulgences. That's not a sale. that's just required spending with spiritual benefits attached. Totally different.

You're like a gym that says membership is free. We just charge for breathing inside the building. the unverifiable product. name one other business that 1.

sells a product no one can test 2. serves customers who can't complain they're dead 3. claims authority no-one can question infallibility 4. has operated for 1,000 years without a single refund request it's the perfect scam you can prove it doesn't work unfalsifiable customers can return it they are dead church won't admit error infalible remember Even and Ron had to face auditors eventually.

You've been dodging the cosmic audit for a millennium. the saints spare change. Mary had extra merit because she was sinless. So heaven has a merit economy where you can bank surplus holiness like a 401k.

Sorry, Saint. Francis, you died with a Merit balance of plus 347,000. We'll put that in the treasury. And you, average Joe, are at minus 5,00.

Genna need to work that off in purgatory, or your nephew could cash in some of Francis's points. This is spiritual cryptocurrency. Merit coin backed by the full faith and credit of the Vatican's imagination. the elephant in the room.

If purgatory exists and prayers slash masses help souls there, why aren't you praying 24 slash seven for every soul? You claim to have the power to reduce suffering of millions in purcatory, but you hold occasional masses offer indulgences during special events. If you really believed people were burning and you could help, wouldn't you help? Unless you don't actually believe it, or you do, and your withholding help unless people pay slash perform.

Either way, monstrous. Enoch's verdict. From a man who never died, who went straight to heaven, Who knows what happens after death. There is no cosmic layover.

there is No fire waiting room. There is no coin-operated salvation dispenser. You made it up to scare people, you made up it to control people. And when caught, You rebranded it.

But Enoch sees through you, the man who walked with God for 300 years and never mentioned your invented fire prison. The man who was taken without dying and never saw your purgatory. The Man Who Knows The Truth Calls You What You Are. Spiritual con artists in expensive robes.

the bell rings, not in purgotory. In the collection plate. Ding. Another coin.

Ding, another soul released allegedly. Ding another cathedral built. The bell tolls for thee, Vatican. Not because you're holy, because your broke without the scam.

And Enoch, who never charged a dime for truth. Lass, amen.