Mirror Rule

Lyrics

Introspoken, a dry professor at a lectern, chalk on a board

"Good evening, class. Tonight's reading: Schopenhauer, 'On Women,' eighteen fifty-one... and Ecclesiastes. Take notes. And bring a mirror."

Verse 1first MC, nimble and crisp

Arthur Schopenhauer, Frankfurt, eighteen fifty-one Wrote "On Women" with a pen that never smiled at anyone "Women think that it is men's business to earn money" "And theirs to spend it" - here's the menu, honey "In Europe the lady, strictly so-called" - his words, not mine "Is a being who should not exist at all" - and she's dressed to the nines "The people who make money are men, not women" - so he'd say Keep the fortune out her hands - now the judge just signs it away He blamed the fall of France on "the influence of women" - how it grew "From the time of Louis the Thirteenth" - till the Revolution came through He said the female character "has no sense of justice" - harsh, I'll give him that So why's a judge inside your mirror - and who's she pointing at? I don't sign his every word - the man was bitter to the bone But hold the mirror up, and tell me which ones you'd disown

Choruswhole crew shouts the first half, lead answers

He does it, he's a deadbeat - she does it, she's set free He walks, he's a deserter - she walks, she's "finding me" He wants a younger woman? Creep. She wants a richer man? Smart Same rules on the paper, but a different rule in your heart A living dog beats a dead lion - that's the way the Preacher put it Now look into the mirror - is it different when she does it?

Verse 2second MC, higher voice, fast and playful

Briffault wrote it down in nineteen twenty-seven: "Where the female can derive no benefit from the male, No such association takes place" - and that's the tale He swore that was the animals, the tigers and the deer Funny how it sounds like your type when the dinner check is here They say Himmler hid a file, a secret Reich affair On the soldiers' wives at home and the men who were still there "A living dog is better than a dead lion" - Preacher's word And the hero at the front was the last one to have heard Then the war was lost, and brides went with the victor's crew And Vienna's doctors wrote it up in nineteen fifty-two So the next time you call men dogs, I want you to be clear: You picked the living dog, love - so who's the dog in here?

Half choruswhole crew shouts the first half, lead answers

He does it, he's a deadbeat - she does it, she's set free He walks, he's a deserter - she walks, she's "finding me" A living dog beats a dead lion - that's the way the Preacher put it Now look into the mirror - is it different when she does it?

Breakturntable scratches, the whole crew calls the reading list

Schopenhauer! (Fifty-one!) Spengler! (Twenty-two!) Briffault! (Twenty-seven!) Ecclesiastes! (Nine-four!)

Verse 3third MC, deep baritone, slow and heavy

Oswald Spengler saw the West go down in twenty-two He drew two women on the page, and one of them was you "The primary woman, the peasant woman, is mother" "Instead of children, she has soul-conflicts" - see the difference, brother? Rome was rich, and it was peaceful, it was organized and fed "And yet the population dwindled" - that's exactly what he said Freud gave thirty years of study to the feminine soul Then asked "What does a woman want?" - and never reached the goal Esther Vilar wrote it plain in nineteen seventy-one: The man's been trained - and they sent her threats for what she'd done So before you call it sexist, run the study on your head If a man said what you're saying, what's the word you would've said? I ain't asking you to hate us, I ain't asking you to choose Just to hold yourself to every rule you're holding to the dudes

Choruswhole crew, last time, everybody on the hook

He does it, he's a deadbeat - she does it, she's set free He walks, he's a deserter - she walks, she's "finding me" He wants a younger woman? Creep. She wants a richer man? Smart Same rules on the paper, but a different rule in your heart A living dog beats a dead lion - that's the way the Preacher put it Now look into the mirror - is it different when she does it?

Outrospoken, the professor

"Class dismissed. Homework: the mirror. ...It's different when she does it? ...Is it?"